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Leo Vegas ble etablert av svenske casinoentusiaster i 2012. De som kan sin latin vet at Leo betyr løve og i Nevada-ørkenen i USA, ligger spillmetropolen Las Vegas. For mange er Vegas stedet hvor drømmer blir skapt. Setter man dette sammen til LeoVegas er tanken bak å gi spillerne kongelig underholdning dag som natt.
I løpet av årene som er gått siden etableringen har den lille løven vokst seg stor og mektig og har gitt gjestene mye moro og spenning.
Det harde arbeidet har resultert i flere utmerkelser under igaming-bransjen forskjellige prisutdelinger. Senest den prestisjefylte utmerkelsen “Online Casino of the Year 2019” under Global Gaming awards. Samme år fikk de også prisen for “Best Mobile Operator of the Year”, under International Gaming Awards.
Casinoet kan skilte med casino, live casino og en sportsbook. De har spill fra de beste casinoleverandørene i bransjen, og oppdaterer kontinuerlig betalingsmetoder – også for norske spillere.
Nettcasinoet er basert på middelhavsøya, Malta, mens morselskapet har base i Sverige hvor de dessuten også er børsnoterte.
Når det kommer til valg av design på nettsidene så er de fine og rene. Fargemessig er det valgt hvitt, lysegrått samt en diskret oransje farge. Menyvalgene er få og intuitive. Hovedvalgene fører spillerne til en av de tre hovedseksjonene, casino, live casino og sportsbook, hvor man igjen får nye valgalternativer. Det er derfor lett å orientere seg på sidene og man kommer raskt dit man ønsker.
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Hos Leo Vegas Norge får alle nye gjester tilbud om et frivillig velkomsttilbud i en av de tre seksjonene. Man bestemmer selv om man vil ha dette i Sportsbooken, Live Casinoet eller i casinoseksjonen. Nye gjester kan velge mellom disse tre velkomsttilbudene:
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I casinoseksjonen deles velkomstpakken ut slik:
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For å få et av de tre velkomsttilbudene må visse krav oppfylles. I casinoseksjonen må hvert av de fire første innskuddene være på minst 100 kroner. Alle innskuddsbonusene pluss frispinnene kommer med et omsetningskrav på 20 ganger. Innskudd gjort med Skrill eller Neteller gir ikke bonus. Pengene overføres direkte til spillekontoen, og man kan begynne å spille med bonusen med en gang.
I Live Casinoet er omsetningskravet på 40 ganger for både bonusen og gratispengene. Det første innskuddet må være på minst 100 kroner.
I Sportsbooken må gratispengene omsettes 4 ganger til minst 1.80 i odds. Gratisspillene tildeles om det spilles for minst 100 kroner til minimum 1,8 i odds første gangen man spiller i sportsseksjonen.
Festen er ikke over hos Leo Vegas Norge etter velkomsttilbudet. Nettcasinoet byr på både turneringer og kampanjer som kan gi både free spins, bonuser, pengepremier, reiser og andre flotte premier. For en full oversikt over hva som er av muligheter må man bare stikke innom på besøk med jevne mellomrom.
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Utover muligheten til å sikre seg gratisspinn og gratispenger i forbindelse med velkomsttilbudet byr Leo Vegas Norge på mange andre sjanser til dette i forbindelse med kampanjer og turneringer. Hva man kan få og hvor mye vil variere fra kampanje til kampanje. Man må rett og slett følge med og se om det er noe som frister.
På hvert av de fire neste innskuddene deles det også ut 25 gratisspinn, til sammen 100 gratisspinn. Dette betyr nye muligheter for å spinne i vei på en av de utvalgte automatene. Også for disse frisspinnene er det Mega Fortune Dreams, superpopulære Starburst, den typisk norske favoritten Joker Pro, Dazzle Me og Swipe and Roll. For å aktivere de 50 gratisspinnene som man får på hvert av innskuddene må man spille for minst 50 kroner.
Selv om det ikke deles ut gratisspinn i Live Casinoet og Sportsbooken i forbindelse med registrering så gir gratispengene de samme mulighetene. Disse er på henholdsvis 100 og 300 kroner. I og med at man får disse når man registrerer seg gir også de fine muligheter til å bli kjent i den utvalgte seksjonen uten å risikere egne penger.
Hos Leo Vegas Norge er det slik at kontanter og bonuspenger holdes adskilt. Det innebærer at så lenge man har egne penger på kontoen, spiller man for disse. Etter at disse er oppbrukt slik at man ikke har mer å spille for, begynner man å omsette av bonuspengene. Det betyr også at det opprinnelige innskuddet samt gevinster vunnet med spill av disse pengene kan tas ut uten å tenke på omsetningskravene.

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Hos Leo Vegas Norge er spillmulighetene mange. Det gjelder i alle de tre casinoseksjonene. Det er derfor et nettcasino som har noe for alle. I casinoseksjonen er det et stort utvalg av casinospill. Det tilbys nærmere 1200 spill. I tillegg er porteføljen variert. Her er det mange spill i kategorier som spilleautomater, jackpot-automater, skrapelodd samt kort- og bordspill. Hos Leo Vegas Norge er skrapelodd også prioritert som et eget valg i menyen.
For å kunne tilby det store og varierte utvalget av casinospill har Leo Vegas Norge valgt å samarbeide med svært mange utviklere og leverandører. Dette er anerkjente navn som Thunderkick, Authentic Gaming, Ezugi, Blueprint, Quickfire, ELK Studios, NetEnt, Evolution, Edict, Extreme Live Gaming, Quickspin, Felt Games, GameVy, Genesis, Genii, IGT, iSoftBet, Lightning Box, Nektan, NextGen, Microgaming, Play’n GO, PlayTech, Pragmatic Play, Push Gaming, Realistic Games, Skillzgaming, Yggdrasil, 2 by 2 Gaming og Big Time Gaming.
Et bredt samarbeid er et smart og strategisk valg. Det sikrer at casinoet hele tiden kan tilby spillerne mange nye spill. Det sikrer også at det blir god variasjon i porteføljen av spill. Dermed skulle selv den mest kresne casinospiller finne et spill eller to som faller i smak. Om ikke finner man det neppe et annet sted heller.
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Tilbudet av spilleautomater er enormt hos Leo Vegas Norge. Det er nesten 1100 forskjellige spill i denne kategorien. Det inkluderer massevis av videoautomater samt jackpotter og klassiske automater. At utvalget er stort er jo ikke overraskende tatt i betraktning samarbeidet med mange tilbydere. Samtidig ser det jo heller ikke ut til at casinospillere kan få nok av slots. Med mange spill å velge mellom vil man slite voldsomt for å ikke finne noe som faller i smak.
Hos Leo Vegas Norge finner man spilleautomater med forskjellig utseende. Fra de klassiske som mange kjenner igjen fra arkader og kiosker til helt moderne automater med mange farger og flott utseende. Automater med tematikk fra film, musikk, norrøn mytologi og dyrenes verden.
Med mange automater er det også stor forskjell på hvordan de er oppbygd. Fra klassiske automater med få hjul og gevinstlinjer til nye moderne slots med flere hjul, rader og enormt mange gevinstlinjer. Samt muligheter for ekstra spinn og bonusspill.
Casinoseksjonen byr på mange kjente travere fra de største leverandørene. Her finner man folkekjære spill som Starburst, Book of Dead, Wild Toro og Gonzo’s Quest.

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Når det kommer til jakt på store gevinster er Leo Vegas Norge med over 70 jackpot-automater et godt valg. Det gir mange muligheter til å vinne en livsendrende gevinst.
I casinoet kjenner man raskt igjen populære jackpot-automater som Mega Fortune, Mega Fortune Dreams, Mega Moolah og Mega Moolah ISIS. Samt populære norske jokerautomater som Mega Joker, Joker Millions og Empire Fortune. Automater som har gitt både store og megastore gevinster.
Det spesielle med jackpot-automatene er at de kan gi astronomiske gevinster. Forutsetningen er at ingen vinner jackpotten på en stund. Automater med progressive jackpotter er bygd slik at hver gang noen spiller på den, legges en gitt andel til jackpotten. Det gjelder alle som spiller på den konkrete automaten. Det er dermed ikke begrenset til hvert enkelt nettcasino. Slikt blir det raskt penger av. Går det tid mellom hver gang noen vinner jackpotten, kan beløpet bli stort. Og det vokser kontinuerlig helt til noen vinner jackpotten.
Jackpot-automatene skiller seg ikke fra andre spilleautomater med unntak av pengene som legges til side. Tematikk og design er likt og man spiller på samme måte.
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Spill blackjack hos Leo Vegas Norge Casino

Setter man pris på det populære bordspillet blackjack er det mye å glede seg over hos Leo Vegas. Casinoseksjonen byr på 22 forskjellige varianter. Det betyr mange muligheter til å slå dealeren. Og til å oppnå 21. For det er det det stort sett handler om. Å få en lucky 21. Reglene for spillet er enkle. Derfor er det populært når man vil prøve lykken på noe annet enn spilleautomater.
Blant blackjack-spillene hos Leo Vegas finner man standard blackjack, Lucky Lucky Blackjack, Suit ‘Em Up Blackjack, Lucky Ladies Blackjack, Double Xposure og Perfect Pairs Blackjack. Videre spill som Buster Blackjack, American Blackjack, 21+3 Blackjack og 6 in 1 Blackjack. Spill som er enkle å forstå selv om noen har en liten vri i forhold til standardreglene. De krever ikke nødvendigvis den tykkeste lommeboken heller.
Er man ikke opptatt av lommeboken så har casinoet flere blackjack-spill som passer godt for storspillere. Single Deck Blackjack Pro High Limit, Blackjack Professional, Blackjack Pro High Limit og Blackjack Professional VIP er spill som er tilpasset spillere som gjerne satser litt når de befinner seg ved blackjack-bordet.

Roulette

Et annet populært bordspill er roulette. Hos Leo Vegas Norge er det elleve varianter av dette spillet. Det er mange regler i roulette så det er ingen fordel å ankomme bordet uten å ha satt seg inn i disse. Det finnes mange strategier for spillingen også, og det er mange som benytter en av disse når de spiller. Uansett valg av strategi må man likevel ha hellet med seg siden det er helt tilfeldig hvor kulen ligger når hjulet slutter å spinne.
Blant roulette-spillene som Leo Vegas Norge tilbyr finner man standard roulette samt flere varianter av både europeisk og fransk roulette. Amerikansk roulette tilbys også.
Den beste strategien for å øke sjansen for gevinst når man spiller roulette er å holde seg unna den amerikanske varianten, og gå for de franske eller europeiske. Der er huset fordel mindre siden de kun har en null mens de amerikanske bordene har to nuller.
For storspillere eller såkalte high rollers finnes spill som Roulelette VIP og French Roulette VIP. Dette er utgaver av spillet som virkelig lar spillerne satse mye per runde om de ønsker det.
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For å kjenne på den ekte casinofølelsen uten å være i et fysisk casino, er Live Casinoet til Leo Vegas Norge stedet. Det er enormt. Der er utvalget av kort- og bordspill stort. Derfor er det ingen grunn til å dra til Monte Carlo eller Las Vegas. Kommer man ikke i god casinostemning i Live Casionet til Leo Vegas er det ikke deres feil. Der er det en omfattende meny med mange menyvalg alt etter hva man er ute etter. I Live Casinoet spiller man mot imøtekommende, smilende og velkledde dealere. Mange sjanser for chatting med medspillere får man også.
Leo Vegas Norge har mange spill som er felles med andre casinoer, men også eksklusive spill som man kun finner der. I casinoets Chambre Séparée er det ti eksklusive spill med roulette og blackjack. Ellers bys på rikelige sjanser for gevinster i både baccarat, poker, blackjack, roulette og på lykkehjulet Dream Catcher. Hvor mye man spiller for per runde er opp til en selv. Spennvidden er fra 1 krone til 200 000 kroner.
Spillene i Live Casinoet leveres av spillutviklerne NetEnt, Evolution Gaming og Extreme Live Gaming. Det betyr brukervennlige bord, flott grafikk og upåklagelig livestream og lyd. Dette er også utviklere som har spill for alle typer spillere. Dermed spiller det ingen rolle om man er litt forsiktig med hvor mye man spiller, eller om man ikke har særlig fokus på det. Det blir uansett en flott casinoopplevelse selv om man sitter i godstolen hjemme.
Vil man prøve noe utover alle live-bordene fra de tre nevnte tilbyderne, får man det hos Leo Vegas Norge. Man kan nemlig knytte seg opp til bordene ved flere fysiske landbaserte casinoer. Eksempler er Dragonara på Malta og St. Vincent i Italia. Dermed befinner man seg plutselig på en øy i Middelhavet eller nord i Italia uten å være det.

Slik får du live casino bonus hos Leo Vegas Norge Casino

Hos Leo Vegas er det slik at man kan motta en bonus i Live Casinoet i forbindelse med at man blir ny spiller. Når man registrerer seg kan man få 100 kroner gratis til benyttelse i Live Casinoet. Det er ikke nødvendig å gjøre et innskudd, det holder med å åpne en konto. Det er en fin måte å bli litt bedre kjent i Live Casinoet uten at man risikerer egne penger.
Frister det med mer kan man velge å ta imot velkomsttilbudet i denne seksjonen. For det første innskuddet på minst 100 kroner vil man da få dette i Live Casinoet:
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Både gratispengene og bonusen kommer med et omsetningskrav på 40 ganger før eventuelle gevinster kan tas ut. Dette høres muligens høyt ut for erfarne casinospillere, men det som skiller Leo Vegas fra andre casino er at når du spiller i dette casinoet vil du først spille med ditt eget innskudd, før du spiller med bonuspenger. Så om du vinner en gevinst mens du spiller med dine egne penger, er alle gevinster dine.
Ønsker man flere bonuser i Live Casinoet må man følge med og benytte anledningen i forbindelse med diverse kampanjer som kan gi dette.

Odds og betting hos Leo Vegas Norge

Når det kommer til sport er Sportsbooken hos Leo Vegas uslåelig. Der er det mye for de som elsker sportsbetting. Det betyr mange muligheter for spill på både odds og live odds. Det første betyr spill til odds som er satt før idrettsbegivenheten starter. Det andre gir enda mer engasjement siden det er odds man kan sette når en sportsbegivenhet pågår.
De aller fleste idrettene er på plass i sportsseksjonen. Det betyr alt fra store idretter som fotball, vintersport, hest, tennis og motorsport til mindre idretter som dart, snooker og sjakk. Leo Vegas har alle de store turneringene, mesterskapene og ligaene. I tillegg så byr Sportsbooken på resultatoversikt og live streaming.
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Oddsbonus

Nye spillere som er mest opptatt av sportsbetting kan velge å ta velkomsttilbudet i Sportsbooken. Faktisk får man 100 % opptil 3000 kr. Denne bonusen må omsettes 4 ganger til minst 1.80 i odds.
Frister det med mer etter at man har spilt på sport risikofritt, gjør man et innskudd og spiller for egne penger. Da tildeles man velkomsttilbudet i sportsseksjonen hos Leo Vegas Norge. Det betyr at man mottar 2 gratisspill. For å kvalifisere for disse to gratisspillene er betingelsen at det spilles for minst 100 kroner til minst 1.8 i odds den første gangen man spiller for egne penger i oddsseksjonen.

Se kampene med live streaming

Ønsker man å følge med live etter at man har spilt på et idrettarrangement, er sportsseksjonen til Leo Vegas Norge er godt sted. Der kan man bli værende i Sportsbooken og se på avgjørelsen. Der kan man se mange live sendinger eller live streaming. Enten det er en fotballkamp, tennismatch eller en kamp fra VM i ishockey tilbyr Leo Vegas dette til sportsinteresserte gjester.
Enkelt å se er det også. Man finner idrettsarrangementet under Live streaming i oddsseksjonens meny. Deretter er det bare å trykke på play-knappen. Er man ikke innlogget må man deretter gjøre det. Så er det bare å nyte sendingen.

Spill hos Leo Vegas fra mobil og nettbrett

Når det kommer til løsninger for mobile enheter har Leo Vegas Norge aldri sovet i timen, men fulgt med på den teknologiske utviklingen. Der i gården har nettsider med responsivt design aldri vært et fremmedord. Helt siden starten i 2012 har det vært fokus på å gi gjestene det beste innenfor mobilcasino. Rett og slett å være nummer 1 på mobilspilling. Dette ble blant annet anerkjent med tildelingen av Mobile Operator of the Year under EGR Nordic Awards 2016.
Casinoets innovative løsninger gir håndholdt underholdning som er uanstrengt uansett hvilken enhet man benytter. Dette skyldes banebrytende fordeler som elektrisk tempo, intuitiv kontroll og det flotte utvalget som tilbys av casinospill. Dermed er det duket for mye moro uansett hvor man befinner seg i verden. Det eneste man behøver er god nettdekning.
Spill via mobile enheter er enkelt uansett hvilken nettleser og operativsystem man benytter. Det er ikke nødvendig med nedlasting av programvare. Om man ønsker kan man laste ned Leo Vegas sin app for Android og IOS. Med casinoets prisbelønte Best Native App ved EGR Marketing and Innovation Awards 2017 får man en verdensledende spillopplevelse rett i håndflaten uansett hvilken avdeling man befinner seg i. Opplevelsen blir intuitiv, innovativ og øyeblikkelig.
Det betyr lynraske hastigheter og fine opplevelser på mer enn 1000 spilleautomater takket være samarbeidet med alle partnerne. Det betyr alt fra traveren Starburst til de heteste nyhetene. Innenfor sportsbetting betyr det en lynrask Sportsbook som er effektiv, engasjerende og lett å navigere på. Og så kommer man til den ekte opplevelsen i Live Casinoet. Det betyr live streaming fra luksuriøse og eksklusive steder rett i hånden. Håndholdt Live Casino i HD som man sjelden har opplevd tidligere. På mobilen eller en annen touchskjerm får man et bredt spekter av live bordspill hvor man opplever forskjellen fra hva de fleste andre tilbyr.
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Innskudd og uttak hos Leo Vegas

Når det kommer til finansielle transaksjoner er det mange som kjenner på en viss usikkert. Spesielt om man skal betale til en ny aktør. Kommer pengene inn på riktig konto? Og ikke minst får man tatt ut pengene igjen? Det er jo ikke rart at man kjenner på denne uroen. Noe nytt skaper alltid en viss form for usikkerhet. Hos Leo Vegas Norge kan man nyte spillingen og slappe helt av. Der er det ikke noe tull. Casinoet tar sikkerheten til kundene sine på ramme alvor. Alle betalinger skjer med moderne og sikker SSL-kryptering. Dermed kommer ikke innskudd og uttak på avveie.
Før man kan ta ut penger må man verifisere kontoen med godkjent legitimasjon. Dette er for å sikre at pengene utbetales til riktig person. Samt at spillingen ikke er en del av kriminell aktivitet som hvitvasking av penger.
Når man først er verifisert vil alle senere uttak av gevinster gå mye raskere unna. Hvor raskt man får pengene kommer an på hvilken betalingsmetode som benyttes ved uttak. Casinoet prøver uansett å ekspedere alle anmodninger om utbetalinger så raskt som mulig. Bruker man elektroniske lommebøker er pengene tilgjengelig nesten med en gang. Må utbetalingen foretas via bankoverføring kan det ta inntil 5 dager.
For innskudd er det ingen krav til minstebeløp hos Leo Vegas. Imidlertid kan det være at kortutstederen krever et gebyr, og da kan dette bli uforholdsmessig stort om man bare setter inn en hundrelapp.
Når det kommer til uttak er det minste man kan ta ut hos Leo Vegas 200 kroner. I løpet av 30 dager kan man foreta inntil 3 gebyrfrie uttak. Gjør man flere uttak innenfor dette tidsvinduet påløper det et gebyr på 30 kroner per uttak. De som har nådd nivå 30 i VIP-programmet kan foreta så mange uttak de bare ønsker. De vil uansett være gratis.

Oversikt over betalingsmetoder

Leo Vegas Norge tilbyr de mest vanlige betalingsmetodene. I utgangspunktet benyttes samme løsning ved uttak som ved innskudd. Er ikke dette teknisk mulig blir uttaket som oftest ordnet med bankoverføring. Hos Leo Vegas kan det velges blant disse metodene:
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  • Skrill
  • Skrill Rapid Transfer
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  • Trustly
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Husk at det varierer hvilke metoder som er tilgjengelige for norske spillere – da den siste tidens restriktive politikk fra den norske stat har gjort det vanskelig for norske spillere å ta ut sine lovlige gevinster som de har vunnet på casino. Leo Vegas jobber kontinuerlig for å finne nye og gode betalingsmuligeter for akkurat norske spillere.
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Kundeservice

De aller fleste gangene man gjester Leo Vegas forløper nok besøket uten problemer av noe slag. Det er jo slik det skal være, man er jo der for å hygge seg. Dog kan det være at det er noe man lurer på. Da er Leo Vegas sin FAQ et greit sted å begynne. Der har casinoet samlet de mest vanlige problemstillingene. FAQ-en er omfattende så man finner mest sannsynlig svar på det meste man lurer på.
Finner man ikke svaret der eller om det skulle oppstå et akutt problem, er det godt med teamet på kundeservice. Det består av dyktige medarbeidere som gjør alt de kan for å hjelpe. På kundesupport er det alltid folk tilstede. Det betyr at man får hjelp og assistanse døgnet rundt. Enten det er påske, 17. mai eller jul. Teamet hjelper til slik at man kan fortsette med det man ønsket, nemlig underholdende spilling.
Folkene på support kan kontaktes via e-post, Live Chat eller telefon. Det raskeste er telefon og chat. På e-post tilstrebes det å svare innen 24 timer.
Fra klokken 8 om morgenen og helt frem til klokken 02 er det hjelp å få på norsk. Resten av døgnet er kundestøtten på svensk og engelsk.

Forsvarlig spilling med LeoSafePlay

Hos Leo Vegas ønsker man at gjestene skal kose seg, spille og ha det hyggelig hver gang man er på besøk. Rett og slett at spillingen ikke skal ta overhånd og at man ikke er i casinoet for å bli rik. Fokuset med ansvarlig spilling er en viktig del av identiteten til Leo Vegas Norge. Derfor har de etablert LeoSafePlay. Målet med dette er å gi nyttig og praktisk informasjon om identifisering og håndtering av spilleavhengighet. Samt hindre spill blant mindreårige. LeoSafePlay gjenspeiler viljen og arbeidet som gjøres for å ta ansvar for spillerne og bransjen i sin helhet. Verktøy er rett og slett en nyttig ressurs for alle som ønsker informasjon om hvordan man unngår spilleavhengighet og spill blant mindreårige.

Stolt sponsor av Brentford Football Club, Leicester Tigers og Norwich

Hos Leo Vegas er de opptatt av å gi tilbake. Dette ser man blant annet gjennom sponsing av idrettslag. Nettcasinoet er stolt hovedsponsor av flere kjente idrettsklubber. Dette er Brentford Football Club og Leicester Tigers. I tillegg kommer fotballklubben Norwich som kanskje er best kjent blant nordmenn. Den er på nivå to i England og har også nordmenn på laget.
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Psycho Betting and Stats 301-Degenalytics Question

!!!!DISCLAIMER:!!!!
Before you even start watching this for entertainment and see if you get offended by this un-P.C. content. Don't be a pussy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igsb3ejgbL8
If you can't handle it, leave this thread. If you can, then you may proceed to the next level.
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📰📜Story📜📰:
I've been scatter-brained, ire-filled, soul-searching and lost after a 7-day Degen Marathon that brought a shit load of misfortunes. I used to hate social media, but I've learned how to wield the soc. med. sword like a fucking Degen Jedi. I'm going to promote an honest cause where I seek to be victorious in the end. Just you watch you fucking doubters, haters, blockers, scammers. How much grit and intellect would the average fucking person have to endure what I've gone through in the last fucking 48 hours and still come out alive with a sense of greater purpose?
Had about $400 to $500 in righteously earned bonus dollars earned through impossible grinding degen mission that came pretty close to accomplishing (91%).
I would have had some imaginary >$600 BR by now, but instead the roll-over deadline caused the entire deposit to be forfeited and I manage to salvage some $100.
Due to a bonus rollover scheme, 80U of my balance was stuck in bonuses and if I fail to accomplish the roll-over by the deadline, it all gets forfeited.
With a $500-$600 balance, I could have somewhere at $900-1000 by now after a 20-2 W-L record on European football on Wednesday.
How did I get that record yesterday, by sampling a bunch of solid pre-game picks and live betting using my own fucking brain. I consult with the finest in capping. With $10-$20 bet sizes, That would have put me up maybe $15x16 = +$240 at minimum. $1000 was the imaginary bank roll. As of today, betting with $1 units, after Monday-Wednesday's successful run, while Tuesday was a -$50 blip, I converted $100 to about close to $200 (40U).
🤪🤑Psycho Betting🤑🤪:
I learned the art of psycho betting. Taking some well-advised 10U and 30U psycho bets that put my bankroll up a significant amounts, but a big loss does the opposite. Yesterday I manage to hit 4 grand 30U slams in a row, however many on juiced lines, so each $30 bet one returns about $15-20. Thus my bankroll grew nearly +100 units and sits close to $200 from the initial $100 I manage to salvage after that bonus robbery.
If you want to fucking learn the art of Psycho-Betting to the extremest and be successful at it, fucking put in $100 in Bovada (remember to use money that you can afford to lose) and get that fucking bonus for the purpose of looting the bookies in a successful vengeance scheme. This guy is a fucking Artillery: https://twitter.com/GoTimeCappers.
Fucking hit more than 4x30U grand slams yesterday and some 10-20U cherries on top. I tailed his free picks and other through consultation [Haha fucking reddit/sportsbook will probably ban me for promoting another tout, :)].Of course with my $1.5U size on a crippled bank roll, I cannot grow it to as much as I wanted to using GoTime's techniques. I would have been at another +$400 if I had $6 units. It's a high risk and high reward system, but if you are confident with your picks you go big on it. If you lose it, then you grind back with smaller 10U and 20U bets to try to get back to part to be able to do another 30U bet. The goal is to be like 2-1, 3-0 on 30U grand slams a day. There is some level of sustainability and back up plans to execute in case the 30U bet did not work out. It is very improbable for you to lose 10 in a row on well researched picks that the experts in the community have common agreement on. A lot of the times, the lines shift to reward you less for the pick since big money is already on the pick.
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!!!!!DISCLAIMER: DO NOT READ BEYOND HERE IF YOU HATE MATH OR HAVE AN IQ OF < 89!!!!!
Use the chart on: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_classification
Here is a Nice Calculation to do:
📚📑💻Stats 301 Question in Degenalytics💻📑📚**:**
Lastly I asked anyone in the past few days to do a Stats 301 question with Degenalytics Context: To fucking determine the probability that an avg Joe with a $100+100 Bonus Bank-roll or $500 + 250B bank roll can actually pull off the $3000/$7500 grind in some number of N months betting with supposedly 2 full months of real sports (N-2) getting Obliterated by COVID-19. I want you to give me an analytical calculation or a simulation of your work and give me all the possible scenarios.
Then give the final verdict of if that number converges to 0.000% or 100.00% that the average Joe would succeed his false-hope mission for a successful rollover.
In other words think of it like this: If the average joe bets his entire bank roll 12 or more times (roll-over is not x10 because of bookie juice), what is the probability that he will still end up in the green? Also assign a tilt probability factor that the Average Joe would go on some emotional tilt spree to end up bust again? And make it even harder by eliminating 2-3 full months of real sports (N-2.5) and having to bet on Bovada's limited shitty ass lines and shitty live odds.
If you fucking want to eliminate the -2.5 months, then allow the average joe the freedom to bet on N months of e-sports [hahah] and see where that goes.
I had a bad experience betting on e-sports for 2 months and only end up -15-20U. I'm not saying that I lost because I suck at e-sports betting or I tailed the wrong people. The Bovada lines are super shitty and limited. Most of the time, on live esports, all you see are dashed out lines as if they fucking know what the rigged result is and prevent people from doing hedge bets or try to bet opposite spreads when they are winning to guarantee an insurance 1-1 with minimal damage incurred to their bank-roll. The live betting experience on e-sports on the Bovada platform is so bad that you are guaranteed to lose in the long run. Fucking hell Bodog/Bovada even offered me a $250 deposit on 100% bonus after the Rudy Gobert day in Mid March. They advertised the joys and wonders of getting rich betting off esports.
I was so tempted to deposit, however I kind of over-slept and missed out on the dead-line so they closed the bonus offer. Pretty good relief that I did not fuck-up my real credit card and bank account by falling for that scam again. It was an accidental Grace of God moment to fucking avoid that E-sports deposit marketing scam.
BONUS Questions:
A: Calculate the number of months needed and number of successful bets required for the conservative degen 1u bettor to grind out the roll-over playing
$2.00 tug of war with the bookie.
B: Calculate the odds that a professional capper who knows how to adjust unit sizes (1u-5u), do parlays once a while, will succeed the roll-over in some
N-2.5 months or add some e-sports to have fun to keep the N factor.
C.1: Calculate the conditional probabilities for the bettor succeeding in the mission if on the first few days of betting:
i) He loses bet 1 for about $20.
ii) Wins bet 1 for about $20 to earn $17.5.
iii) Goes on a 3 game losing streak
iv) 5 game losing streak
v) Positivity case: The guy got lucky and nearly doubled his bank roll on a decent run from day. Up +100U or $200. [I'm sure that out of bad discipline the average Joe would still go -200U in the long run with a pretty high probability.]
C.2: Determine the mathematical scheme on how the Bookies can use your first few losses to eventually put you in a 60+:40- (Greater than 60% locked in bonus, less than 40% of your deposited money). Bonus:Locked funds ratio.
The Jinx-King answer: It converges to zero [hahaha], but I really am interested in know what other scenarios math and stats people have come up. And your mathematical approaches and formulae used to generate possible scenarios and probabilities. But I think it is safe to say that for the average Joe,the answer is 0.00% success rate. Bodog/Bovada knows this exactly and refuses to put a hiatus on the roll-over deadline. Instead they keep it going so that people can try to wager on e-sports and lose their entire bank roll. They are only interested it getting 100% of your locked funds so that they can buy expensive cruises, yachts, beach mansions, resort packages, etc in Aruba or some other tropical place. Where you got millions of desperate Americans, Canadians in struggling economies with lost jobs and zero positive cash-flow. About 10% or so or perhaps even more deposit money into off-shore gambling websites hoping they can roll-over their bank-roll some ridiculous number of times and make a few bucks to put food on the table.
In fact, it makes matters worst being jobless, having zero cash flow and having locked funds in scamming bookies. If you are not good at casino or sports-betting games, you would have:
A: Lose your entire deposit for failing to grind it out properly.
B: Not grind it out on time on whatever dead-line the roll-over was.
C: Even if you did successfully grind that shit out using conservative 1u betting and play $2 tug of war with the bookie, you will end up just wasting your time grinding it out for hours and hours on end. It would have been better for you to fucking find a job at some farm helping out with harvesting crops or work in meat plants so that food does not go to waste. I bet you I can make more money than your $2 tug of war in one a day picking off cans and bottles off the streets in some exercise walking/running/biking + collection routine then selling it to the recycling center for $0.05-0.25 a unit. Trust me at my university, I spot maybe about 50-200 empty/partially driven cans and bottles left on desks, lecture halls, the floor, libraries, work areas, etc. Supposed that I harvested that shit, I would be making $5-$20 a day collecting it all and going to the recycling center once every week.
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⚖Conclusions⚖:
The fucking company knows this COVID-19 closure shit and want to use it to their advantage to continue to rob millions of their customers. Last week, I tried to call customer service, chat help, email, etc. and management has spoken to plead my case to delay the roll-over dead-line in a pro-rated time frame so that customers with locked balances can resume betting with their full balance when Game 1 of any Major League Sport actually returns. They give me the same bull-shit over and over saying they decline my request. For what reason?
  1. The terms and conditions written in fine print for accepting the bonus conversion challenge. "Rules are Rules."
  2. They were aware my deadline of June 22 at 19:23 ET was approaching soon. They knew I was on a mission to salvage my bank roll before they yank out the 60-75U trapped in bonus balances (i.e. Ghost money). By the end of it, I realize I made a foolish mistake. Most of my wins were just from bonus money and I was rewarded $0.00 on righteous wins on expired bonuses.
Therefore Bonus money only earns bonus money which put my entire bank-roll in a 80:20 ratio where the bookies control 80U in ghost money. By the end of the roll-over deadline, they get to yank out 80U of my balance at the deadline and left me with about $100 (20U) bank roll to regrind.
  1. They knew I was winning consistently making solid picks.
During my 110 hour marathon over the brutal grind of losing more than 70 hours of work, leisure and recreation; 35 hours of sleep; to a fucking impossible grind of trying to roll over some 60% of $7500 on sports I have little knowledge of capping (i.e. E-sports, Table Tennis, European football) after a few days of studying the game, I was picking up my stride to grind it to 91%. They fucking knew that if I had another day to grind, they would be coughing up +$600-800 of withdrawable balance to my account.
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Bio:😎📚🎓👨‍🎓
I am a Fucking PHD Candidate (2-6 months from graduating and not having to pay another round of BS tuition) who does a shitload of mathematics, statistics, simulations, mathematical physics, wrote scientific papers. I've won T.A. Awards, Government/Provincial/Institutional level scholarships, Conference presentations, with even Undergrad honors back in the day. DM me if you need a fucking CV to prove my fucking credentials.
Why am I able to write a lot of shit? Because my fucking brain operates on some max level Intel Xeon chip on overclock mode and I cannot do much to shut it down other than going to sleep. They only way is to write articles that I think might benefit the community.
I have a crazy interest in sports and Degen'ing. I love to fucking put action on sports games, be proud about making the correct calls on the outcome of games before it happens, and then boast to my circle of competitive friends about who's the fucking Boss. As tabboo as society think us degens are, I think this absolute BS. There is a pure enjoyment in watching sports and having action on it. It is nice to get paid beer money to cover a round for your buddies, or earn that rent money over a successful night of betting on shit you actually enjoy watching. Fuck I rather make $300 for one evening of enjoying sports rather than working a 9-5 dull job to try to afford rent/mortgage. If I can fucking pay off all my monthly expenses in 3 fucking successful nights of 3 hr sessions of sports matches, that would be ideal. I would take the lather over a 9-5 rat-race grind.
Overall I am "PRO" in the debate for local single sports betting bookies to be established in Canada. Get these fucking scamming off-shore books like bodog/Bovada who contribute only contribute "Bagel" to the Canadian Economy, but instead make it worst by scamming the masses of hard working or desperate people to leak out some sum of billions of dollars of national GDP. Probably the same applies to all American States, that people should not have to cough up their hard earned $$$$ to off-shore scamming bookies. I shall write an article about this later to justify my arguments later.
Ultimately I my goal is to obliterate or negate the influence of all the cons, scamming bookies, and false touts out there who are just interested in stealing people's $$$. To write out full studies on exposing their schemes in an objective lens.
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Calling me out: (Think I cannot track these pussy downvotes? I know you cowards 😂😜😎)
If you think I'm full of BS, then send me a personal DM to have a 1v1 argument the same way that Stephen A debates sports with Max Kellerman. You can downvote me or flame me with empty hate talk all you want on public threads. But don't be a fucky pussy by avoiding a debate with me. Trust me, I'm going to win and be the last one to state a real point that you will have no comeback for [haha]. Lastly, if you are open to discuss or debate with me about some issues, do some resarch/exploration, betting strategies, etc., I would love your collaboration in some projects I got going on.
Ultimately, I should help every honest worker strive towards Degen success or if not, just to purely enjoy putting action on sports games. If you are too full of yourself, then you are on your own, I bid thee adieu, and wish you all the best. However you will be absolutely declined to all services and counsel I work to provide to friends for free.
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Social Media📺🎬
Some extra Resource to how I got to this point in my mission.
Here it is for starters:
June 23, 2020: The Impossible Pursuit Reddit/sportsbook/Brag and Bitch (Tuesday)
June 24, 2020: Doubling Bank roll and rewarded Bagel: Reddit/sportsbook/Brag and Bitch (Wednesday)
June 24, 2020: How can you win 5 in a row and lose it all simultaneously? Reddit/sportsbook/What is your most impressive win?
Full Twiiter: https://twitter.com/jinxking0p5
All my media: https://twitter.com/jinxking0p5/media
Discord: ????? To be solved.
Challenges: Got a few right in progress now and a couple of drafts I am working on.
The Jinxking Crusade (In progress): https://twitter.com/jinxking0p5/status/1275516258822131714?s=20
Turns out many people cannot withdraw anything out of Bovada/bodog due to some website glitches. Will try to recover a bankroll to attempt a withdrawal, however I am likely to have the same issues too. They will make some lame excuse to not give me a cheque. Definitely no point of pursuing anything in bovada/bodog if they refuse to give you withdrawables. The goal is to get their website off outta here. As well as get them out of advertisements. They definitely pulled off some "Get the fucking money and run scheme" and you will likely not see your money again. GG
The Jinxking Challenge (In progress): https://twitter.com/jinxking0p5/status/1275661929940467713?s=20
Want to expose a bad tout who over prices the service and has a mediocre record? Tail and fade to call their their BS or mediocre non profiting record out. Also good for finding legitimate winners too. This will be a mission to expose shitty touts on Twitter the way Penn & Teller exposes BS in the market.
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Campaign spotlight Ep. #15: High Roller Sisko/Waitress Ezri

Welcome, my friends, to "A briefing with Neelix". Crew spotlight, episode 15!
Campaign numero quatro is Rolling up on us, bringing with it a couple of fun con men. Con..people? Since they're both from the same episode, we'll do another condensed spotlight so the heretics among you can stop reading halfway through.

High Roller Sisko

Stats

5/5 High Roller Sisko SEC CMD DIP Overall
Base 1360 (#1) 987 (#72) 471 (#293)
Proficiency 129–325 (#158) 123–270 (#188) 130–270 (#232) #274
Voyage #10 #90 #275 #26
Base among variants #1 #4 #6
+9 accuracy, +1100 to Crit Rating. Trigger: Position
9 Sisko, 2 Captain, 1 Bajoran events

Variants

★★ Promoted Sisko
★★★ Commanding Officer Sisko
★★★★ Mirror Sisko
★★★★ Gabriel Bell
★★★★ Dr. Hippocrates Noah
★★★★★ 1701 Sisko
★★★★★ Benny Russell
★★★★★ Captain Sisko
★★★★★ Conflicted Sisko
★★★★★ Enemy Lines Sisko

★★★★★ High Roller Sisko

★★★★★ Niners Sisko
★★★★★ Solar Sails Sisko

Collections and Traits

No collections.
Human, Federation, Starfleet, Bajoran, Cultural Figure, Gambler, Thief, Crafty (8)

Unlockables (700+)

Crafty:

Breakdown

Who wants to talk about SEC?! SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC SEC!
Pros: #1 SEC base. #2 'SEC and CMD' shuttler (fucking Keiko lol). #3 CMD/DIP/SEC voyager.
Cons: Skill set more than three times as common as any other. No gauntlet/arena/collection considerations (yet).
You'd better sit down, I'm going to say nice things about attributes I never give any love to. Top bases are useful and becoming more important. If you're buying Sisko's campaign, I'm assuming you also have requisition shuttles and Faction event considerations. When your pool of bonus crew is depleted, you need stalwarts like Sisko to pilot some runs. Indeed, crew of a certain power level will even surpass super rares with a bonus. And if you don't have the time or desire to mess around with tanked shuttles, Roller will give you a 20%+ better success rate for daily shuttles than any super rares you've been trotting out.
It's okay to invest in great CMD/DIP/SEC crew. You may have some old timers like Captain Sisko or Arachnia fully fused, but Roller is 10-15% better for base and voyages than many old cards. Would you like to take your voyages from nine hours to the ten hour dilemma? There may not be a gaping chasm between choices like you'll find for many of the MED combos, but the CMD/DIP/SEC portion of your roster shouldn't be ignored, especially considering their Faction seat ubiquity. As I write this, the Faction event going on has zero ENG/SCI/MED in the three seat missions, despite seven bonus crew with SCI.
If, like me, you do your best to avoid CMD/DIP/SEC crew since they often fall in your lap (Thrax, Kol, Kortar, Leland), Sisko is one crew you can feel good about investing in. SEC is the most common Faction event skill and 'SEC and CMD' the most common 'and' seat.

I$ he worth it?

If you've ever extolled the virtues of pure base crew like Commander Barak or Lal then Sisko's your guy. If you've ever stared longingly at the voyage ranks day after day and then quizzed yourself on them while walking home oh God what is wrong with me, then Sisko's your guy. If Avery Brooks' scraggly chin fuzz and pearly whites make you weak in the knees, Sisko's your guy.
Even to my fellow value over replacement acolytes, Roller comes highly recommended. He's got the power for immediate impact and the event count to maintain relevance. He may not offer the frills that make other crew so well rounded, but as my high school shop teacher would say, any job worth doing is worth doing well. If you're going to invest in the skill set of doom, make sure it's for a crew who is the best at something, as Roller is.
Finish him?
Yup. With the way the portal winds are blowing, we're looking at 6+ more months of winter for this groundhog and his stats will demand immediate use on any roster. Barring duplicates, I'd be hard pressed to imagine many scenarios where he's not one of your best citation targets once he's 4/5 at the end of the campaign.

Waitress Ezri

Stats

4/4 Waitress Ezri DIP MED SEC Overall
Base 652 (#67) 450 (#44) 287 (#196)
Proficiency 193–390 (#27) 162–497 (#11) 47–135 (#188) #27
Voyage #59 #33 #214 #143
Base among (Dax) variants #5 #1 #8
+7 Accuracy @ 12 seconds, deals 200% instant damage.
12 Dax, 1 Ezri events

Variants

★ Desert Ezri Dax
★★★ Sniper Ezri Dax
★★★★ Mirror Ezri Tigan

★★★★ Waitress Ezri

Collections and Traits

No collections.
Trill, Costumed, Undercover Operative, Counselor, Resourceful, Federation, Starfleet (7)

Unlockables (700+)

Counselor:
  • [CT.2] Rabid Fans (DIP 125 | 300 | 712)
Undercover Operative/Resourceful:
  • [7.1] Improvised Entry (DIP 167 | 405 | 769)

Breakdown

What's a knockout like you doing in a computer-generated gin joint like this?
Pros: Dax event count. #1 Dax MED base.
Cons: Flaccid stats across the board. Thin late game utility.
Waitress Ezri is one of the names whose reputation is pretty far from what the stats say. I rarely hear bad things about her from players, but rarely good things from the numbers. Generally when that happens, it's because the crew is plugging a hole in a player's roster which needs to be shored up.
But 'just get better crew' isn't always a viable solution. In fact, events in 2019 have only provided four crew with DIP and MED. If you've been around since the Cornwell and BR Bashir megas, you'll likely freeze Waitress without a second thought, even as a casual player. Her voyage power is on the wrong side of bad and her best proficiency roll, MED, is nearly doubled by common super rare gauntleteers Mirror Phlox and Nurse Garland.
Like Admiral Picard from the previous month, however, she has early game utility worth considering - instant ship damage, the uncommon MED skill, a little gauntlet play, and consistent events. If you're someone who uses Waitress every day, give us some roster context in the comments and let's figure out why her rep doesn't jive with the numbers.
Unfreeze?
A #1 variant base generally answers this question, but as one of only two Daxes to have any MED, seats will be scarce. Her only Faction event in the last twenty months was during Bashir's mega which skewed how many MED seats you're likely to see in the average Dax event. Her 2x bonus MED sits at #26 among non-bonus options, so it may need the 'DIP and MED' seat specifically to pitch in.
She may find work if her bonus and the right event type line up, but with such poor bases, an established roster will likely leave her frozen.

Is she worth it?

At the risk of angering the Dax crowd, Waitress is not for everyone. No collections, great immediate stats, or strong bases to thaw make her forgettable on established rosters. But any 4/4 with MED will be useful for rosters under, say, 6-12 months. I'll defer to her reputation and suggest checking your roster against her numbers and skill set to see if Xentrex Waitress is right for you.

The Story

No ship at warp, no Captain's log? What is this? Oh, right...Deep Space Nine. We're in Vic Fontaine's nightclub shooting the breeze with the boys. Vic starts singing, because that's sort of his thing, when the holodeck suddenly "malfunctions", because that's sort of Star Trek's thing. Vic's transforms into a burlesque show, starring four young ladies who all have their own pages on Memory Alpha. Never change, Trek nerds.
We're quickly introduced to the baddie, a gangster named Frankie Eyes and his bratwurst-looking sidekick Cheech. He just bought Vic's hotel and has a bone to pick with him. 'Look here, you're finished in this town, see?' Miles' attempts to stop Frankie and shut down the holoprogram fail, fade to black.
Back on the station, it's established that the convoluted holoprogram design leaves the crew with two options; delete the bad guys and reset the whole program including Vic's memory, or play along and save Vic from the unemployment line. While the bridge crew mulls over a rescue plan, Captain Sisko interrupts with a very fair question, "When do you [all] plan on going back to work?"
We check in on Sisko and Miss Yates in their quarters enjoying a candlelit dinner. Kasidy is worried about Vic too, but a very not amused Sisko asks to change the subject, further highlighting the dour cloud floating above his head.
Miley and Jules go to check on Vic and hash out a plan, but upon arrival find that Vic just had the stuffing beaten out of him; a little 'warning' from Frankie's boys. They urge Vic to lay low while Decoy Kira and Jazz Musician Odo (redux) go scout out the place, looking for a way to oust Frankie from Vic's home. Kira catches Frankie's Eyes and Odo does a Stretch Armstrong impression, ingratiating themselves to the antagonists.
Their reconnaissance uncovers that Frankie's hotel purchase was financed by his mafioso boss who gets paid back with a cut of the casino's profits. The casino's money goes bye bye, so does Frankie, capiche? The crew divvies up roles for the Great Casino Heist, setting up DB for even more wacky variants down the line, and plant the seeds of their scheme, including securing employment for one Waitress Ezri.
Again in the Captain's quarters, Kasidy is detailing her role in Vic's rescue when Sisko's irritation with Vic and the holoprogram finally boils over [see quotes]. He tells her that the program whitewashes the civil rights struggle and it doesn't sit right with him. She counters that Vic's is the way things should have been in the sixties and a good reminder that humanity has moved beyond such failings. Ben considers her argument as we get back to project #FreeVic.
The crew is ready to pull off The Italian Job, but are one man short. Enter Motherfuckin' Hawk, looking sharp in his vest. The gang go over their clockwork con in detail for the benefit of the audience, including a spiked drink delivered to the casino's count man by Waitress Ezri, a vault cracking by Ensign "Ears" Nog, and High Roller Sisko's big bucks drawing attention to the craps table.
But come the night of the big heist, everything goes wrong. Ezri's drink tray goes kablooie, but a quick thinking Bashir snatches a nearby pair of martinis and spikes one of them. Upon delivery, Ezri finds the casino count man replaced by the literal Chancellor of the Klingon High Council, Gowron, son of M'Rel. Some clever rhetoric convinces him to down the dosed drink anyways.
Janitor Nog runs into an unanticipated re-lock system while trying to crack the safe and Frankie's boss shows up a day early looking for his profits, sending Kira scrambling for a distraction. Sisko obliges, throwing fistfuls of cash in the air and playing the role of flamboyantly generous foreign investor. The commotion gives Nog and Odo enough time to swipe the dough and escape.
An empty-handed Frankie Eyes is escorted out back by a couple of his boss's lackeys to be fitted for a pair of cement shoes and Vic's nightclub program is restored to normal. Sisko, having let his hair down, sings us off in a baritone vibrato. Roll credits.

The Characters

More of a fun ensemble romp than character story, most of the crew were window dressing in this episode. High Roller Sisko, arguably the only player with much depth, was the vehicle for Trek's famous statements on morality. His scenes with Kasidy Yates had him wrestling with the dichotomy of the impact on history that the civil rights movement had and the idyllic, hopeful world that Star Trek often portrays.
And Ezri was also there.

Quotes

Sisko: Look, this is not about Vic Fontaine.
Kasidy: Then what is your problem?
Sisko: You want to know? You really want to know what my problem is? I'll tell you. Las Vegas 1962, that's my problem. In 1962, black people weren't very welcome there. Oh, sure they could be performers or janitors, but customers? Never.
Kasidy: Maybe that's the way it was in the real Vegas, but that is not the way it is at Vic's. I have never felt uncomfortable there and neither has Jake.
Sisko: But don't you see, that's the lie. In 1962, the Civil Rights movement was still in its infancy. It wasn't an easy time for our people and I'm not going to pretend that it was.
Kasidy: Baby, I know that Vic's isn't a totally accurate representation of the way things were, but it isn't meant to be. It shows us the way things could have been. The way they should've been.
Sisko: We cannot ignore the truth about the past.
Kasidy: Going to Vic's isn't going to make us forget who we are or where we came from. What it does is it reminds us that we're no longer bound by any limitations, except the ones we impose on ourselves.

The Actors

Avery Brooks
Famous in the Trekverse for 'not being Picard', indeed Brooks brought a special and sometimes eccentric flair to his performances on Deep Space Nine. I'm light on his other acting credits which apparently include stage work spanning decades. Educate us in the comments if you've seen him in something else you've enjoyed.
Other appearances: Spenser: For Hire/A Man Called Hawk
Nicole de Boer
The 'other' Dax, but my personal favorite. She was in a previous write-up if you'd like to read more.
Other appearances: Stargate: Atlantis, Haven
Previous episodes: Mirror Jean-Luc Picard/Admiral Picard, Berlinghoff Rasmussen, Temporal Prisoner Chakotay, Irumodic Syndrome Picard, Kivas Fajo, Temporal Agent Seven, Assimilated La Forge/Gunslinger Uhura, Sniper Ezri Dax, Captain Morgan Bateson, Zhian'tara Odo, Timicin, Trelane, Bajoran Dukat, Bestselling Author Jake Sisko
submitted by Automaton_2000 to StarTrekTimelines [link] [comments]

"In Ingles how do you say?... Uuup?"

Hi people if Reddit. I've known I should post this encounter of mine for you all on this sub for months. I've been slow to, mainly b/c I usually come here to relax and reap the lessons of your tales. I'm a selfish bitch basically haha. My inner nag though, she just couldnt let me shake the feeling that maybe somebody needs to hear my experience for whatever reason. Maybe not, but I believe in giving back what you can when you can. Manners. I know a couple-o-posts I've read on this sub have changed me, educated me to be careful, & invited me in to see the shit that's keeping them up at night. So... here I type in thanks ye authors of letsnotmeet. I tried too keep it from becoming a novel..
I'll start by sharing the fact that a I'm female living in the Pacific NW so you dont picture some Jon lol. I am 30 something years old now; this happend 15+ years ago. I took a would-be summer job south of the US West Coast boarder in Baja Cali. It was a good 10-15 months after HS. I needed a break from my very tight social/family circle of about 30, and if not then, when? FFWD past the exedus and a slow push of paperwork and I am tan and without a care in the sunny state of Baja California Sur Mexico for about a month's time. I had gone down with another chic from my city, Dessy. She had a decade on me age wise, and was in the midst of what could be discribed as being 'the height of her mid-life crisis'. She was accepting of that fact, Im no jury. Seperated from her husband, and father of her two grade-school aged kids, well lets just say she was down there borrowing trouble at every corner. We both had been set-up with a tourism promoting gig with a prime location at the airport in the town over, San Jose del Cabo. RCI prepaid our housing expenses at a hotel about 8 blocks from the pacific ocean in San Lucas which we would have to repay as we earn commission. This was all set up in advance by our beloved mutual friend Joanne. The trip was (expected to be) for a three month period. For her it was just that. I came home 4.5 years later; and only as a direct result of the tragic 9/11. Its ripple effect on tourism left no other option for me - as a non Mexico citizen. Ironic? Perhaps. Thats another story, for a different sub Reddit.
The Santa Fe Hotel was quaint, not a 5 star by any stretch, but it was away from the party scene and it was clean. It offers a kidney pool/hot tub too, which was a bonus! I took full advantage of the pool by jumping in fully clothed after work each and every day. :) Also, there is a little store street side, with all the basics: milk, bread, deodorant ... Modelo etc. It even had a lavandoria (laundromat) with maybe three washers and a couple dryers to wash our clothes. Heres a pic. [Santa Fe Hotel] https://goo.gl/images/K41KuA BTW I definately dont remember it being nearly as nice as that pic, at least the seating, it has clearly been upgraded from the plastic lawn chairs that were there at the time. And how they caught a photo opp on the only cloudy day they saw all year is impressive. Our needs were beyond met.
Of those first 4-5 weeks in the "Company Housing" my friend and roomate Dessy came home to crash, 3, MAYBE 5 nights in total. I just assumed she was with our mutual friend Jo on most of those nights; they had a history between them dating back to HS after all, and were much, much, closer than I had been to either of them.
That assumption I had on her whereabouts was squashed flat when Jo came looking for Dessy on one afternoon. "Dess?, what the hell?! ..she 's not with you?!" I asked "I haven't seen Dess since I took the both of you to finalize your paperwork at the immigration office a week and a half after you arrived in Cabo!" Jo. Explained. "But... I have heard she hangs out at The Love Shack alot, ..I'll check there." she said carefree, to dissarm my wide eyes no doubt. "Let her know she needs to call me if you do see her drop by, ok?" Asked Jo "Kay" I agreed, skeptically.
People, (..sigh) where she stayed those nights, those weeks, I had no freaking idea. For the most part, I still don't! (I will say though, we haven't seen each other much in the past ten plus years. Not by accident either. When we had crossed paths, I got a glimps of that dress I used to own or my _____ fillintheblank!! Hmmmm I still have her family photos tho?!) If you can tred through these brief connections between us prior to the meeting with human traffic professionals that she arranged, you might understand how the cluessless find danger. Bare with me.
Moving on.... She always showed up to training those first couple weeks, and later on that month she would be there working at the airport. It was in our contract after all. The airport we worked at, the only airport, is 45 min away from the Santa Fe. At times she would show up in the morning to catch the work van in the am with the Villa crew & I, but after the flights were done -poof gone. If she stayed for them all that is. I didnt care really, I didnt know what it was like to be a Mom snd Wife so who am I to judge. She got very defensive and angry when I dutifully probed her about her goings on at night during those first weeks when she did come by The Fe for a change of clothes that afternoon Jo stopped in. Honest. I could have cared less, really! She seemed fine health-wise. Besides, she preferred other Gringos company, and I was there to meet the local people where they were , and they got a kick outta me too lol. However, we often had work obligations, like employment paperwork. The where would be asked.
So, this one peticular Saturday she rolls into The Fe for the sake of her own minimum hygene requirements: shit, shower, & shave. At which time she offers what her day off entailed thus far, and even notes specifically that she had met a very nice couple. Odd, she is pitching me. "I think you would like them!" Dessy Says to me through smiling eyes "I hung out with them yesterday, and again last night.. they are super cool!" She says excited. (...Ok, a pattern? She might be slowing her roll?!) I'm thinking to myself. (Naw... she's probably only chattin' it up about this 'nice friendly couple' because she left in thick dramatics of Novela proportions a few nights prior, and without any dispute she was lookin & being pretty fucking reckless!) Was my inner dialog. Reckless even for her. She stormed out without even changing into fresh clothes. Quick stop cut short of its purpose after an exchange of words between us. Broken record skips to where she complained that I had 'offended her' and 'made her sound like a slut' (her words). What was I supposed to say when I was asked about her whereabouts that would please her? Nothing at all is whats ok thats what. Lol We had a love hate relationship, can you tell? Misfits paired momentarily, and forged only through happenchance through third party bonds each honored by the ither just enough to fudge through our missgivings. Heres the duo lol... she a tall masculine Jamie Lee Curtis likeness with a spot on replicated courtney love personality - to my Ani Defranco no bullshit attitude and look minus the anti men crusade. YES
Anyway, so shes repeating her line about how nice the couple was- "...and they aren't Mexican, they are from Argentina" they came here on thier fishing boat.." She explains (OH, is shes inviting me out?) I started to put the plot together when.. "They want to meet you" Pops outta her mouth.
(Damb. WTF? Why? ...Weird) I'm thinking (A day or three ago we were just in a spat) But Im also kinda relieved so I sucuum to the idea, backing in slowly. It's better to keep the peace. Though I didnt see her often, that doesnt mean she wasnt exhausting to fight with when she was around. On and on she could drag it out with all the 'feelings I gave her' or She '..sees (whatever) emotions I'm emitting' from '(whateva) chakra' blah blah. Yuk. I have three brothers.
(Bitch this is Mexico, Im omitting beans through my ass Chakra haha!)
So anyway, Im trying so hard to be one of the girls at this stage in my life so I bite my tongue alot (that entire year honestly) And I reply "They do?! Well ok, sure when?" Agreeing to go. "In a couple hours" she replies. (Today?) "Ok, where?" I ask. "The little bar a couple blocks down" Dessy explains. (Bar? Near? Hmm where?) Not picturing where she is speaking of I question her further. "On this same street?" To which she confirms "Yeah". Apologizingly I continue "I dont know where you mean?" (Truely, in the 109+ times Ive walked to the beach in the past month; no bar what~so~ever pops up in my mind) She must be mistaken, small town. "You mean, over a block maybe?" I correct, though Dess ends my 10000 Questions with "Nope". Final answer. I agree to let her show me the way in an bit, though still very skeptical its on our street. It cant be far. There was only ONE stoplight in Cabo at that time! Only a few paved blocks beyond the Transpeninsular HWY, all marina side.
We shower, a little makeup is put on the cheeks, I take my hair down for a change, and after a short delay we are off & on our way down the dirt road. Headed south toward the Marina/ocean. When we get a few blocks down Dess, seemingly out of nowhere, stops and announces: "..OoHHhh ..they ..arent ..here yet?" Looking around. (I see only residential in my tunnel vision) hmm (??) "...We ...arent ..there yet either, ..are we?" I chuckle to myself confused. "It's right there -> Dess points to a two story structure 'stuck' between two others - its lost in plain sight. Picture The San Fransico Bay construction style houses. All plastered together. Tight and all but seamlessly; only different, these ones are very very small and duh: Mexico style. So basically you see re-bar rusting at the highest points. The one she is pointing at looks like bottom floor is just one room, but one wall is from the building to its left, and the other is borrowed from the one on the right each its own color. A long bar takes up half the space running from front to back on the right with a tiny opening to get behind it on the far wall which has one shelf with maybe a half dozen bottles. Two/three stools are on the other half of the lower room. That fills the entire bar space. The doorway to enter is on the stool side. Just beyond the stools is a windy circular set of rickety wire stairs leading up to the up to the only other sitting room. It's without the front wall for the most part, gapping hole from about a persons shins to head and te same width. It faces out to us as we stand on the dirt street. No glass window-Hacienda style but with a roof. Painted a drab grey in front, no wonder it was easily missed by me dozens of times over. Easily missed by locals, Im certain of it, solely due to the lifeless grey was painted. A very odd color choice. Thinking back, nothing was accidental about the guise the establishment embodied for its purpose.
Now I clearly see, nope, the couple was in fact not there. I could see the entire establishment from where we stood. Though it was built as what appeared to be an afterthought, it probably used to be a sleek alley recently. Now dubbed a "bar" by the owner with a humble driftwood plank hanging above the entrance. Not unlike a treehouse. No bathroom for its own, though a shared makeshift lou communal between the neighboring structures was tucked behind a clothesline curtain. I doubt water was piped in, but could have been.
We agree to go in and order a couple beers. The downstairs could only fit two, three patrons tops, so we go up to the second floor. There isnt much to it either, one single low to the floor round table, and four leather & wicker bucket seats traditional to Mexico. Thats it, and it filled the entire space. No shit! There's one bartender, who also doubles as the waitstaff. I assume he is also the owner. He offers two beer choices, we point to our selections and without speaking a word he leaves warm unopened bottles of beer one in front of each of us. Not once catching eyes with me. I brushed it off as him being shy and embarrassed possibly too, maybe it was just that. Nah
We get our drinks opened and the couple shows up within a few minutes. Initially they both seem normal as far as appearences go. Picture this: 5'9" or so, olive skin, slender, but not skinny, both of them fit that mold. The pair also shared similar beady eyes, obscured though behind med tinted sunglasses. Like many people we met they had a natural no nonsense hair duo, with no products or perfumes. I doubt deoderant was in there travel packs, either. The woman didnt shave but it wasnt off putting at all. Very heavy accents greeted us. (but from where?) The man was kinda dressed like the crocodile hunter, and the woman who seemed more like a sister than a wife, was also in garb not unlike the Crocs 'Laayydee friend' Tans - khakis - army greens and cargo pockets. Not sure but possibly even workboots or hiking boots, though as I said I cant be sure. As plain and forgetable as the building they had invited us to, so they were -or so they appeared.
My whole body went on high alert within minutes of thier arrival. I know, to look at them as I discribed was not alarming. They also had plane names. I remember them to be something like Pat n Jose or simular. Above all, what I noticed right away, was HOW they spoke. It was... Well it was off. Not the accent, ..well that too - but mainly the fact that their broken English was forced. Let me explain, when you spend any amount of time around people who don't have a common language with you, a time comes when either you need something or visa versa. When ut does humanity finds a way for you to communicate without many/any words. Similar to the game charrades, you use your movements, universal gestures, or draw pictures. Basically anything you can do to fill in the gaps. These two - made gaps- gaps that didn't need to be there, if that makes any ioda of sense.
One partial sentence that burned in my mind from that afternoon was the woman saying " ..In Ingles how do you say!? ..Uuup?!" Bad acting. The conversation, or better said, script they spat (very cunninly) could be chalked up by me, or anyone with any bit of street smarts for that matter, as a ploy to convince (two dumb white girls from the US) that Mexico makes it super hard and expensive to work, so why bother. With them as our friends we could cut our losses (though funny thing is we never complained or discussed our work requirements with them, we just sat down!) Rest assured they pleaded, we should jump for joy as today we just hit a great fortune in meeting them, our worries were now over.
The worries that didnt exist.
They tried diligently to persude us with a confident tone and carefull execution (that was to me clearly rehersed) Skipping town (or in this case country) with themto Angentina was a great opprotunity, and a no brainer. Why? Because we were so lucky to have such GOOD friends in them to be able to do so. (Of course! ..Friends?!) Anyone in their right mind would be gratefull and thrilled to have such a great opprotunity?! Right?!
They dramatically went on, and on, with "We gat lotsa gas in ow boat, we hook you gurls up! Wone even maku cheep in fo gas our boat, we go gas. Imagina, No mas paypur fees (prepaid by our job) and mucho dinero para passaportes day wantchu pay (Really? We pay 100$ every ten years?!) & FM3's, (ok 900$ every six months to work was a bit taxing but also, prepaid by our hotel so again, not like it was out-of-pocket. Besides we chose to be there!) No problemas gettinchu o'er dare eithr wit we boat!" As they reiterate over, and over, the script, what I'm hearing in my head is Bells, Whistles & Sirens LOUD ONES, the spinning red ones like the cops used to place on thier hoods in old flicks like Dukes of Hazzard. Tea kettles steaming. And more than that, I hear a definate question being asked of myself, and by myself I must consider. 'What did we do to get the royal treatment?!')
Jose goes on "... so .. You wone hab tugo tru Customs on mye boat, who like mess wit dem?!" (Easy Peasy huh?!) The Man, this Jose, is about to lose that winning smirk from his olive face as I rebuttle Jose's offer. It's possible yes, that he has mistaken my silence as a surrender to his point. No, actually the fact is now Im in a very, VERY, sarcastic mood -as is my dominant personality in any situation where I am treated like a complete fucking novice.
"OH GOOD?!" Sitting up now "SOoo no Passport?!" I look around the table "Cool! , No Migra! ..No checkpoints, or hell, no record?!" I challenge him, wide eyed. By this time the woman knows Im not falling in line with thier pitch so easily and is speaking fast and a hushed tone behind his shoulder to his opposite and sitting back slightly from my line of sight, clearly in response to his erect arm reaching back over her. He begins humbily apologizing to me explaining that I clearly dont understand what he means. Jose leans over like the 'Good Buddy' he is to correct the situation eye to eye. Why of course, that's the trust infusing stance when in business negotiations right? Now softening his tone dramatically. (No way Jose, Im already onto you) I'm also leaning in, but with a nervous grin. I meet his gaze, I probably appeared as cocky though my heart was racing. Again, I chirp out: "So? My last known whereabouts would still be -Mexico" (check) cocking my head aside, finger up (When in Rome) Wait, -if -I -was like IDK ..sick (pause) ..or hurt!? .. (Pause) o'sumthin, ...anything (like - lost or trapped, possibly fucking DEAD!) My family back home would never...even ...know?! If I lost touch for awhile and they tried to reach me, which Im sure they would, (not really) they'd only be looking -and checking for my whereabouts here. In Mexico. Right?" Silence "I mean .... thats where the trail would lead them. ...but deadend, ..no dice, huh?!" I question " Well, simply because YOUR boats not making a 'special stop' to check us in with Argentina Customs officials, is it? I mean after all you HATE those guys huh?! Pain." I chuckle, again, nervously looking from face to face. Holding myself up arm on leg "..you said right?" I finish my monolog there with a double slap to my thighs as if to not to over step my boundries.
Dess gets a correcting tone asking "Why are you being so rude?" They're seizing the opprotunity of reeling her in, with a glance to each other the moment they realize shes still hooked. Now, swiftly they shift their bodies to face her, and her only. Jose smiling softly like a cartoon villian again, pitching her his transparent lies; weaving a deadly web. Clearly, he is trying to drown me out verbally, I think she notices the change in the air. She must. I down the last swig of my beer & I ask "YOU READY Chica?!" Standing up & already walking toward the windy stairs. But with a - Getty up - Im not leaving alone- ring to my words. Followed up with a wave toward the steps and only exit.
They both look visibly mad, physically pissed I cut them short. Burning eyes through Me and meet me as I glance back over my shoulder. All while they as quickly-as-possible try to finalize and confirm an exact time to meet Dessy and her other girlfriends too, the next AM, Sunday, at thier boat. Gosh, so they can 'at leese tree her to zum ocian fisheen!'
Shit, and wouldn't ya know, this idiot is all 'yups' and 'see ya thens'.
I tell myself (she is not serious. Cant. Nah. Nope. The bells and whistles never churped so f-ing loudly in my life!!) Ive never before, or since, felt so damb close to such saturated evil posed in the human shape and form ever in my entire life. Without a pang of guilt or doubt them two? Man they would sell thier inbred daughters by the hour for a small stack if 25c poker chips at Freddies casino if the chance arose. That is the impression I got.
Dess doesn't delay too long, I hear the sliding push back of her wicker chair beforeI reach the rail. We both descend the steps, and without a parting word from me, we are out the front and only door, and in step begin our walk north. Alias more than before, no better put, part of the same tribe.
At a brisk pace and over 3/4 of the walk back behind us, I proceed to tell her I've got early plans in the mornin with Victor'. Thats when, and I shit you not Redditers, Dess's jaw drops agap, and she snaps her head towards me and with wide eyes in surprise gasps: "You're not going fishing at 11am with us!?"
To which I reply immediately in a deep sure sharp tone "FUCK No!!!!!?" Brows frowed together, I don't bother to meet her eyes "Dess tell me you DIDNT hear a (melodically) little fucking voice in that head of yours saying over, and over (Roboticly) "DANGERDANGERDANGER"!? I then presume to squeel in high pitched sounds of sirons "Weeeeee Ewww Weeeee Ewww - (Mans Voice impression) "Red Alert, I repeat, Red Alert!" Shaking my head I look over now half joking because this shits common sense. But shes blank stares WTF "Are-you-fucking KIDDING ME?" Thowing up my hands, "They PRETENDED -not to-know -English fluently!?" I say with my body as much as my voice in disbelief. Dess's jaw, still agasp. Wow. I look away and proceed to do an impression of the women in her phony accent... 'In Ingles ummm how do you say? ...UupPpp?!"
I wanna throw up.
Still shaking my head, in a haze of equal parts pissed/worried. I knew her radar was broken. Now its clear. Worse, shit it may never have worked properly in the first place, and I seriously worried to myself that that could even possible. Possible? Possible to get through a death luring pitch from those two? Best friends to the Devil, .. no not two lowly bottom dwellers, no way, two well versed slave drivers..?, ... No. Not without a feeling, a deep engrained primal feeling, a physically felt need for self preserverence?
Shock starts to wash over me, but I try to calm down with each disbelieving step, two, three. I turn to Dessy like a mother to her child and I search her eyes for ANY Sign of it all seeping in. A fruitless moment goes by, when finally I retreat and say to her in a delicately kind tone. "Dess, they look at us as 'STUFF' mear 'THINGS' nothing more, not people, surely not thier equals. Each of us is seen as a free commodity at best, and at worst simple minded dumb american girls worth at least a carton of smokes. Well for you a pack of smokes" Joking.
Blank stares and batting eyes is all Dess replies, so I go on: "Dont let them think they can easily exploit you for thier pursposes. Whatever that may be. They will probably in all seriousness make you a sex slave if you get on that boat Dess, or who knows what? ...make your family pay a ransom to get you back, or something worse. If you even have an option to ever come back!" I assure her this is whats up.
After a few more silent moments I put my hand on her shoulder and look at her in the eye searching again. (anyone home?) "You know that right?" My nodding is met by more blank stares.
I surrender. We both retreat to a faster pace.
Later at the Santa Fe I in guilt make one last attempt to try and make her promise me that she would not go meet them at 11am the next morning for "fishing" while Im away.
She wouldnt.
The next day before I leave, (she stayed in our room for a night, wowzers!) She announces that "...after thinkin' it over..." she was going to trust MY gut, since I had felt so strongly about it and all. "There must be a reason behind a strong feeling like that" she said. "...but I still think they were very nice, and you shouldn't have been so rude..." Unable to meet my glare. (God help us all)
To the poeple reading this, I say this. If not entertained in this recount of mine then Im sorry. I will still leave you with this thought to ponder. Think back to an intense moment in your life. Was there a sense of alarm? If so, did you try talk yourself out-of the legitimacy of that feeling? Maybe even rashionalize/dissmiss it? How did it all turn out?
The internal alarm is a phonomenon I believed, up to this point, we were all given within out makeup for a reason. Well, turns out thats true, except when it isnt given to you. I like to hope there's still a chance it can be reset or recovered for a person. Hopeful its always turned back-on just in-the-knick-of-time to keep one safe. SometimesI see it might not be there churping loudly because it wasnt given to you for warning in times of danger, as I so optimisticly assumed. But just maybe, sometimes its there sounding loudly only because the grace of God had given it to somebody else whom he knew would be there at that precise moment to share it with you.. If youre lucky.
So, la pareja mas loca de Agentina,
I will not meet you on your boat, I will not be tricked nope nope nope. I will not depart here by your scam. I will not fall victom in your foreign land!
submitted by SanchaDeNadie to LetsNotMeet [link] [comments]

Just venting

** I need to just let some shit out, I dont really care if anyone reads it or not but I want to vent. I trigger myself all the time so if you are lonely and get triggered maybe its best not to read about why I am anxious and depressed about it.**
Ive been feeling anxious as hell and I dont have anywhere else to turn. I read some of your posts and just felt like typing something up and letting some emotions out. My life has been moving in a decent direction but my social and more so relationship anxiety has been spiraling out of control. Everything starts to blend together and I start to feel hopeless about the future or ever having any meaningful relationship. Im 25, male, not virgin but not experienced by any means.....I have no idea how to even start a relationship or find someone that is interested in talking. I have tried so much in real life and online. I try not to be "desperate" and look for people I could actually see myself getting along with. I still reach out and try to talk to a lot of people but it just feels impossible at times. No matter what I do I am not sure anything will ever really change.
To give some history, when I was younger I had a really rough home life. Ended up moving from Florida to Ohio, to run away from someone crazy and dangerous. I dropped out of high school in the process and had so much social anxiety I could barely stand to leave the house. After literally years of being a herimt I started doing better. I took some college classes, got a job, lost some weight. Things seemed to be going alright at first. I made a few friends that drank way too much while I was working, at a casino. I really did a good job getting over my social anxiety, but still longed for a relationship.
I met a girl I got along with well but ultimately she wasnt interested and I ended up not handling it well. Lost a lot of hope in life, became borderline suicidal and lost those friends in the process. They also showed some other sides that were not very kind. I worked with one of the guys, he was my supervisor. Things were weird. (2 gay guys and 1 girl, guys dated all 3 were roommates)
Well, finally as I was getting over all that I met someone new. Someone different. Someone special. She was so nice to me and everything was amazing. She actually wanted to spend time with me, and I couldn't get enough of her. Being a virgin at this point and 24 I was really interested in what was happening. We cuddled, shared a bed, talked. She said she wasnt ready for sex yet and I was ok with that. She was damaged herself, raped when she was 16 and then went trough some very strange relationship that involved her being something of a sex slave that completed tasks for someone? one of the tasks involved willingly having sex with the person that raped her. She was also at one point engaged to someone in their 50's, we were similar in age both mid 20's. I found her past troubling and I was emotionally overwhelmed by it at first but I overcame that because I decided I really liked her for who she was now and I didnt care about the past.
Well, the thing is all her relationship and sex experience was intimidating to me. I really felt like I needed a label at this point because I started to be unsure what we had. We work together and I didnt have many friends at work. She had a ton, was comfortable hugging everyone and is a massage therapist on the side as well. She was a very touchy person. And I loved touching and cuddling even if there wasnt going to be sex. We shared our pasts and she said she wished she was a virgin and thought it was fine that I was. Cool.
Only I wanted to ask her if we were dating because I dont know how any of this works. In high school I was hiding from everyone else until I dropped out. I then lived at home in a lot of social isolation. I suck at making friends in real life, I have some cool online friends I talk to but thats not the same.
She made a few comments here and there when I tried to get an idea of what we had. Sarcastic joking comments that really hurt, like get with a few other woman then get back to me. And at one point she mentioned something about me "not being man enough" to "step up to the plate." I misread what she meant and did something borderline creepy I guess. She kept telling me how she wanted someone more man, more experienced, willing to step up. She had her past that involved some weird shit. I thought she wanted me to just be more dominant or expressive or something, I felt like I loved her. Well one night during one of these conversations when she was telling me about how she wanted someone to be a man, step up, etc., I thought she wanted me to do something. We worked at the same place, often times we hung out after work. I got it in my head that she wanted me to just be more spontaneous. So one day I tried to think of some plans for us to do after work after we had been texting, I met her by her car as I had before. I tried to plan a fun little night of hitting the gym together and maybe dinner. She had been angry lately so I brought some womens boxing gloves and I was going to try to help her work out some anger. In my head I was being spontaneous and trying to create a fun evening together. Only today, she didnt want me to meet her by her car. I completely made a fool of myself and mis-interpreted whatever message she was trying to get across. Well, now she things im a stalker and im creepy. I completely fucked that up. Long story short, she no longer wants anything with me.
At this point I am completely in love with her but I did not want to be a stalker so I just went and found something else to do. I drank and cried. I quit my job that was paying $20+ an hour without any prior work experience. I really went off the deep end this time. I wanted to go back to school, I used to always want to go to med school when I was younger. I like to learn.
I tried to piece things together and focus on school. At the start of the semester I was feeling confident. I messaged someone on a dating app, this time really just wanting to go for the first thing that came my way. Well, something came my way. She was ready for a first date of "netflix and chill" and seemed keen on something sexual. She ended up being very ready to have some fun. I faked being way more confident than I usually am because this was just sex, this wasn't someone I had deep feelings for. I uhh, took the lead and really just focused on doing what she was in to because I didnt even know what I wanted for myself. Well, she had some daddy issues and really wanted someone else to be more doimant, so I was. I gave her a great night with multiple orgasms, I stayed very... hard... and enthusiastic for hours. We played, rested, played, took a nap, etc. for a good while. I never really got off from the whole thing because I was just trying to perform. And I did, it was a confidence boost at first. But this person was far from a soul mate and we did not see eye to eye on much. It ended up being jsut a one night stand but thats probably for the best.
The rest of the school semester I really tried to be positive. I tried to talk to people. I tried to join groups. I tried to be social doing anything I could. Well, I made some new study friends in my science class. I have gotten over most of my social anxiety. I speak up in classes, I try to talk to people and make friends. Im just not very good at it sometimes. Luckily some of my teachers tried to promote study groups for extra credit. So I took it upon myself to try to make that happen, sure for extra credit but also to meet more people. I ended up in a study group with 2 cute girls.
Well, one of them is in an open marriage and ive received certain photos of her but I dont think I want to just "sleep" with her because she is cool. Id be attached to her. I have no idea what is going on but we are in some of the same classes again next semester and she is interested in.....something? Man I stress over this, because Im lonely and want real people to connect with, but im also kind of horny and inexperienced. I think im ok with whatever happens here but I just have no idea what to expect.
Other girl is chill but has a boyfriend. Shes smart and cool to study with as well, I dont really care that she is seeing someone because Im looking for any friends really.
This is getting incredibly long but I feel ok typing it up even if you dont read it. So now at the end of the semester, I have a 4.0 GPA and my science teachers are already volunteering to be references for me if I try to go to med school. Im in a decent spot financially. I have my own place and a car. Im about to go on vacation for most of this month 7th-27th.
The problem is, it doesnt matter how good anything else goes. I still feel alone. Nothing feels worth going at alone any more. Why should I care about a bright future if im going to be alone in it. And now im having all sorts of anxiety. Mostly just struggling with the social isolation I still feel. When I was home alone and afraid to leave the house that was one thing. Since then I have lost over 100 pounds and changed a fucking lot in my life but I still feel that same social isolation. Im just not sure how much more in my life I can change before giving up. Also on my vacation this month im going to be with my dad's side of the family. They are mostly very wealth and see drinking as a "fine" thing in life and pretty much a right of passage. Its important for me to maintain a good relationship with them all but they are all alcoholics and see drinking as part of life pretty much. Last time I drank I wanted to kill myself. I have scars on my arm from cutting myself. I havnt touched alcohol in months. Not a drop.
What the fuck do I do on this long ass trip. What do I do when I get back. Will I ever meet anyone for something real? Is it to much to ask to just meet a girl and become close friends without sex being important right away? God im a fucking mess. Thanks for existing, I know you have your own problems. I just needed a reason to type some shit out and think. If you read this and actually reply, thats just a bonus.
*TLDR - I fucking hate being alone all the time. I question everything in life. I just am not sure where my place is. Or if I even want my place if I find it. *
submitted by Jyllana to Anxiety [link] [comments]

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